I completely forgot what life was like before Humira. The swollen joints, pain so excruciating it hurts to move, crying constantly from the pain.
I unfortunately can’t take Humira 2 weeks prior to surgery until my surgical wound is completely healed, so I’ve been without my medicine for over a month. The pain i’ve been experiencing the last few days is pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. My left hand is pretty much useless aside from my thumb due to stiffness and swelling in my joints of my fingers. My left shoulder is so inflamed moving it even slightly sends fire hot pain shooting through my joint. And now my knee is so inflamed that I can’t even roll over in bed without shedding a tear.
I don’t know how I ever lived every day of my life in this amount of pain. Sometimes I think the pain I live in now is unbearable, but there were years that I was living with such excruciating pain and chances are no one ever knew. I got so good at hiding the sheer torture I was going through everyday. I never wanted to feel like a burden so the majority of the time I never talked about it. Then of course I’d get so fed up I’d explode on social media and then be completely fine the next day.
It’s crazy to me that I was able to be functional in this amount of pain, and this amount of stiffness. I can’t even move right now I’m so miserable.
If you’re struggling with an autoimmune form of arthritis, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone and that it isn’t “just arthritis”. I’ve had people tell me that so many times over the last few years of my life and every single time I’ve wanted to kick them in their teeth. There isn’t “just arthritis” every form is painful. But do a quick little google PsA and RA are some of the most painful diseases out there.
Let me get off my soap box now. I just needed to come here to vent because I’m tired of people thinking I complain too much. Until you’ve lived with any sort of chronic pain condition, you will never understand the struggles of someone who does. Not just my conditions. Which also include endometriosis, central pain syndrome and Ryanaud Syndrome (which you wouldn’t think hurts, but my fingers when I’m cold… it’s not a good time).
I’m just tired of people thinking chronic pain suffers are just attention/drug seeking. I’m not even on any pain medications. All my medicines are to suppress/treat the actual condition. But times like this, I wish there weren’t people out there abusing the system because at this moment in time, I’d rather be dead than suffering.
Is there anyone else out there who feels the same way? Like people don’t take you seriously because they can’t see your pain? Had doctors treat you differently for being honest about your symptoms? You’re not alone. My sister and I both suffer daily, her more so than me, but everyone’s struggle is different. But we are all in this fight together.